banana – “hi i’m banana, one of many of my people the bananas. i don’t have much to live for until i die and you can slice me into half and bury me next to the ice cream and make sure to cover me with chocolate sauce.
however, today is the start of the day where i must fulfill my new destiny to stop the oranges from taking over the world.”
moderation is key and the world lives in a balance of potassium and vitamin C.
vitamin c has always been water-soluble. this has allowed balance among the human’s body. but orange will make a difference.
orange -“dude. i’m going to change the world. how? i’m going to submit an article with a sensationalist title ‘top 10 shocking ways that vitamin c can change your body’. the article will go viral and everyone will eat so many oranges that banana demand will drop and no longer become a profitable commodity for farmers or supermarkets to sell.”
the time is clocking fast and hard at a constant rate. fortunately it is the weekend and buzzfeed editors only work on business days so banana has monday until orange’s plan come into fruition.
banana tried so hard and he tried so hard he almost started thinking he was a hollywood celebrity being interviewed on a late-night talk show. cuz u know those talentless losers always try to impress their audience/fans like they’re some kind of special snowflake.
but monday comes and over 6 figure unique visitors have already clicked on the article. bananas will soon become extinct. orange and his team are celebrating with champagne and wine but only a little bit because they want to be cautious in case they shift the balance of power to the grapes.
the world is becoming a place devoid of scurvy. the bananas have secluded themselves into a secret place to research to beat the oranges once and for all. they finally come up with a plan but here comes an intense dialogue between the lead banana researcher and the junior banana researchers.
junior – “It’ll never work! the new bananas are too chemical heavy in preservatives!”
lead – “We’ll have to take a leap of faith. We can’t be living our lives like this forever! plus i have an idea…”
so they ship the new improved bananas into the market. the bananas are in supermarkets with the same expensive prices but this time shoppers are starting to buy them in the bulk. the preservatives have helped extended the banana’s ripeness stage. it no longer has that sudden overripe effect. but the excess chemicals in the preservatives have started to accumulate in the consumers and slowly one by one humans are beginning to feel the side effect and die.
for some reason, the shoppers are still buying them despite all the warning signs. what has happened?
lead – “You can thank the banana marketing department! We put gluten-free labels on all the banana stickers!”